"To one last weekend of super-villainy," I say as a living room full of friends clink my glass with revelry.
You see, my birthday is fast approaching, as I write, in fact, it is less than fifteen hours away. Then, out of support for someone's blog (who has yet to read my own blog) I have to dedicate my life to the rebel alliance of morality for one year. Do I suspect that this experiment is retarded? Absolutely. I mean, my council of good barely made an appearance at my birthday and cherished friends, know that I don't say this out of the slightest hateration, I state it as a fact. I don't know if there is something more reliable about nefariousness. If perhaps I've delved off of the cliff of morality into the refreshing sea of self interest with such reckless abandon that the better intentioned friends of mine no longer keep the faith. If perhaps, I've set my own system up with logistical experts who happen to be on my evil council. I ponder if perhaps modern life is simply so geared towards evil, that the most reliable are by necessity evil. I am simply not sure, but I know one thing for a fact and that is that my Good council is nearly completely lacking in reliability.
Nearly...
You see, I remain unfledging in my commitment to my choice to be Good for one year. Why? Is it because I've staked my written word on it? Yeah, that's part of it. Is it because Jesus told me it was right? Naw, fuck that guy, he seems chill but never shows up when you most need him. Is it because I am in support of a guy who's out to correct his own lack of follow through by not allowing sunlight to touch his balls for a year? I say flatly, that it is not a factor.
"Isaac finally won," Wes proclaims.
He is right.
You see, each Council has a chairman. One who so blatantly and unapologetically represents their Council that I have been afforded no choice but to give them the highest seat upon the Board they represent. There are two councils and two chairmen. Both are present at the aforementioned celebration. Isaac is on my Council of Good, and is also it's chairman. Isaac has never not shown up when he has committed to being somewhere. Isaac is a Catholic, like my grandfather, but thinks the service is mostly useless, like me, and goes every nearly every Sunday (when he's not too hung over) like my grandfather.
On one occasion, Isaac and I were downtown. I had gotten blatantly drunk...as I am prone to do. I had been a complete ass, and please let me elaborate on that. I had asked Isaac for a ride downtown, so I could have 'a couple drinks'. He agreed to accompany me. Before he got there, I drank. On the way there, I drank. When we finally were there, I drank. I had Brian James'ed off (which means I had BJ'ed off, which means I had invited a friend downtown and proceeded to disappear) {I thought to say I had BJ'ed off but that would have too obviously homosexual connotations} Anyway, Isaac had lost me and decided to call a lady friend in which he was interested. She turned out to be across the street and came eagerly by his side. Upon her arrival, fate and fortune conspired to give me a gentle nudge in their direction. I found Isaac and her and began to drunkenly, unskillfully, and unabashedly hit on my Main Man's lady-friend.
Did he hit me? No.
He reacted like a saint. Later, he went to get the car. Before I tell this next part, let me reemphasize: I HAD BEEN DRUNKENLY AND AGRESSIVELY HITTING ON THE GIRL ISAAC WANTED. Anywho, she disappeared and Isaac went to retrieve his car that we might leave. I staggered out of the Ritz and my cell rang.
"Dude, I just got shot at!"
"What?!"
"I'm coming to get you!!!"
"I'm ready!"
His blazer swung in mere moments later, I basically jumped through the window and we were off. Can any of you reading this entry figure out the most profound part of the last one hundred words I just wrote?
My cell rang.
You dig? No. Let me elucidate. I had done my Main Man wrong in a big and blatant way, yet when some unprovoked fool pulled a nine and started lighting up the block (God, I'm so hard), he still called me to come scoop me. Do you think this should be expected? Then get an evil council, you're missing out. I don't suppose this is the most generous thing I've ever seen Isaac do, only the thing that most quickly comes to mind.
Thus, I want to make a few things clear, as I am on the verge of joining the Alliance. (Remember, I said verge, so at least I can keep it real on this one) BJ: the reason more people are reading my blog is that it's more entertaining...look into it. (When he calls me out, I'll know he finally got a free moment in between fucking, eating, sleeping and shading his testicals to give my writing a quick viewing) Isaac: Wes was completely correct. Your unwavering support and dedication to the righteous path have at last won me over, I will do my best. Council of Evil: Do not think for a moment that your constant loyalty and support is in anyway unappreciated or will be in anyway unreciprocated. I know what we have done together, and just because I am no longer out to get mine doesn't mean I won't help you get yours. Loyalty transcends morality.
I know who butters my toast.
...We raise our glasses and drink. After we finish a healthy gulp of the creature, silence sets in. Isaac looks at me and says, "So what does that toast mean?"
"What?"
"About Super Villany."
"I am on a quest to try and get on someone's council of Good."
He looks at me deeply. His dark brown eyes scan my own soul for a fraction of a second. He leans back in his chair and takes down a heavy swig of beer.
"Huh," he responds, without judgment or concern.
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